Oslo
3 May 2018

I’m thinking of starting a series, peeps: Let’s call it “My commute”. Here’s the latest episode:

After a looong day, I’m waiting for the train home. Loads of time, so I sit down with a coffee at a plug-point, setting the countdown on my phone for 15 minutes, so I won’t miss the train (as I tend to get all wrapped up in whatever I’m doing).

After fiddling with my phone for a while, I suddenly realise the train leaves in 2 minutes! The track is a ways from where I am. Damn that countdown! Really need a new phone!

Running like crazy through the station (with my coffee, not spilling a drop, I’m pleased to say), I barely throw myself in as the doors close.

Plonking down next to a man, I notice he is playing some sort of game on his phone. After I catch my breath, I also notice he has the sound on! Bit weird, as he has headphones on. Beepetybeepetybeep!

Irritating! And ever more irritating by the minute! I stare at him! Hard! He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t even notice. Beepetybeepetybeep!

I stare harder! No response. Beepetybloodybeep!

Nothing for it, then; have to get serious. I briefly poke his arm (softly, mind; smiling ever so slightly – don’t want to be too aggressive, you know): ‘Do you mind switching off the sound on your phone?’

He turns to me, takes off his headphones, looks at his phone, and says: ‘nope, no sound here!’

Eh?’ I say, clearly not believing him. ‘But I can hear it.’

‘Must be something with the train then,’ I continue. Bit caustic. Beepetybeepetybeep!

‘Actually,’ he says, ‘it sounds like it’s coming from your backpack!’

Yup, that’s right: my countdown, which I should have set for 10 minutes rather than 15!

Embarrassed? Moi?